Musings from the Mommy

We have taken a 2 day break from posting here from China - partly because the activity level for the adults has slowed down, but mainly because we're getting a little stir crazy waiting for Sydney's passport to be processed so we can get on to Guangzhou. It's taken me this long to process my thoughts and emotions and reactions to this transition to motherhood. Reason? This little girl absolutely floods your emotions and overwhelms your heart.

Considering the fact that Rollin and I are pretty much homebodies, the Lord has obviously got a radical change planned for us. As Rollin has said already to other parents in our group, Sydney will be the one wearing the lampshade at the party. Smiles? She loves them. Laughing? She laughs right with you. Forays into the crowded streets of Nanchang? She says, "Bring it on!" Whenever we gather together for a group dinner or tour, you can bet the quiet Bredenbergs will be carrying the girl who squeals and waves and grins at everyone in the lobby. She reaches for the room door each morning, itching to get out and see what people are walking by and who is available to greet. I prepared myself for a whole host of things with Sydney - runny nose, coughing, skin diseases, crying for hours, bonding to Rollin first, irregular sleep, difficulty feeding, trouble finding the right nipple that works, delayed development, irritability, you name it. What did we find on Gotcha Day? She LOVES her daddy - and she is just as healthy as can be and SOOOOO easy for an 11 month old (which she turned yesterday :)) She sleeps 10-12 hours at night; she takes a 2 hour nap; she's a dream to feed; she is gaining new ground by the hour as she wants to stand, cruise with help, uses both hands with better dexterity; and, bonus, she is starting to really cuddle.

What I hadn't prepared myself for - Mom would even say I'm intimidated by - is the vibrant, gregarious, extroverted, thrives-on-people little girl we named Sydney Grace. She is just such a unique PERSON already - I guess I still thought our babies would be fairly generic, waiting to blossom. Let me tell you, this little girl has already blossomed and is a sweet fragrance in our lives. At first I found myself competing with Rollin and Mom for Sydney's attention (they were graced by her smiles and squeals from the first), and I had to keep praying for wisdom and patience through the day to day progress of bonding. Mom provided a steady source of encouragement - she was so totally in love with Sydney from the beginning, and she just knew that her lovey/affectionate daughter would win this little strong-willed girl. Here we are on day 5, and I can say with great contentment that Sydney is my daughter and I am her mother - with all the fantastic meaning those names imply (I get teary just typing that.) We snuggled this morning when she woke up, a particularly special milestone for me as all mommies adore getting cozy with their babies when they are first waking up. She plays with my face, looks at me from across the room for moments, watches me move in the room, settles peacefully to drink from a bottle, loves taking things held in my mouth and putting them back with a grin, and has graduated from needing me to sit behind her to liking to sit face to face with toys to share and games to play. We particularly love blowing bubbles at each other, practicing new sounds, and spending time in front of the mirror watching each other talk and smile and giggle.

This adoption has been a sanctification, and our great Lord is continuing to work in our hearts to cause us to glorify Him through this little girl. She started coughing and sneezing yesterday, so we pray for her to heal from this little cold as the Lord wills. Most of the other babies in the group have colds and fevers of varying sorts, and I have checked them out and prescribed various medicines as needed. I have been amazed at the maternal instinct of worry about this little cough with my own daughter - ah, the transformation from doctor to mom has already begun.